People seek pleasure and comfort as a fundamental aspect of life. They also make an effort to prevent pain and discomfort in both mental and physical aspects. We spend our energy, effort, and precious time doing this. We work harder in our jobs to earn enough to have a comfortable life and afford the pleasures of life. 

We do what is in our ability to be close to people who will make us comfortable and not hurt us. We travel thousands of kilometers to pursue pleasure and comfort.

But nature always had a way of balancing this human habit. Nature made it so that pleasant and unpleasant surprises are part of life. They help to mask some pain and discomfort we experience. Also, nature found a way to create surprising pleasure and comfort in life. That makes our relationship with nature a bit complicated. We love it when we get pleasant surprises and hate it when we get unpleasant surprises.

Imagine you wake up broke and have no idea where you will get your next meal. Out of nowhere, amid your thoughts, stress, and discomfort, you spot a lost wallet. No one else is around. You open the wallet and find enough money to afford it for a week. That is a pleasant surprise. You will thank nature, karma, luck, God, or anything that comes to your mind.

Now picture this: you have your last money for food and transport today. You grip it with all your heart and body. Then, after a busy day and a lot of movement, you order food so that you can eat and go back home. After enjoying the tasty meal, you check your pocket and find it empty—completely empty. The last thing you want to experience in life has happened. That is an unpleasant surprise. You will curse everything, from nature, karma, bad luck, or even God.

Human nature is fascinating. We feel more pain from bad experiences than joy from good surprises. Finding a lost wallet can bring joy, but it can’t compare to the disappointment of losing money we didn’t want to give up.

So our expectation of what should and should not happen causes our pain, suffering, and misery in life. Life has shown that unpleasant surprises are a permanent part of our existence.

You will lose loved ones, face losses, damage your valuable items, lose possessions, go broke, and argue with those you love or even strangers. You will be late for meetings, find traffic jams, your car will break down, and your clothes will get dirty. It can rain, it can be sunny, you can get into an accident, and all unimaginable situations can occur.

What is the solution to that?

Someone wise once said, “Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.”

This wise person learned from ancient Stoic philosophy. They called it premeditatio malorum, which means premeditation of evils.

Seneca wrote to a friend, saying, “Nothing happens to a wise person that goes against his expectations. Not all things turn out as he wishes, but as he expects. Above all, he knows that something can block his plans.”

Every morning, as you begin your day, think about all the unpleasant surprises that could come your way. The people you meet, the places you go, some things you will do, and the things you will interact with.

Instead of hoping all glamour and good things happen to your day, imagine what can go wrong. What will delay, what will not happen, what will happen the way you won’t expect? Prepare yourself mentally. You cannot control what happens or how it happens. Yet, you can control how you feel, think, say, and do.

That means the events will come; either you like them or you don’t. It doesn’t matter whether you are prepared or not. So the best way is to imagine how horrible it can be and then be surprised that it didn’t happen. Imagine and prepare for all good and joy, and let a painful experience surprise you.

Prepare yourself for any bad news or unpleasant surprises today, both mentally and emotionally. It will help you feel better. Most of our pain arises from our lack of preparation and from facing unpleasant surprises.

What I do as a practice:

Every morning I write in my journal all the things I am going to do, then imagine how they might not happen the way I expect. Imagine the people I will meet and how the conversation and moment won’t be as I wish and hope. I imagine all the people I don’t plan to meet and how they can act and react to me. Everything I know can happen anytime, like receiving a bad call or text or losing something.

Then, at the end of writing all my imaginations, I write the following statement.

I cannot control the happening of all the above things, but I can control how I feel, think, say and do all the above.

I finish with the word “Amor Fati,” Latin for loving fate.

May you be happy, 

May you be healthy,

May you be free from sufferings 

May you find peace and joy.

If you have learnt something from this, share with someone you care about.

#iThinkSo

Rogers Katuma

Financial Artist, Senior Adventurer, Occasional Storyteller and an Amateur Golfer